I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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