Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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