I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
