I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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