Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
