All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
