yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
