I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
