No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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