could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
