BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
