i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
