how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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