i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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