She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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