And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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