so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
