Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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