Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
