Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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