Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
