Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize