I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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