OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
