last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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