She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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