i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
