so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Too much gin, very little bucket
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
