We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
