Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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