mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
