Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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