Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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