i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
