I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
