Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
