very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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