How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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