He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
