he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
