I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
