I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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