Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
