I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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