You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize