is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I still have a little drunk in my system
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
