As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
