i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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