Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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