Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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