How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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