the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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