I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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