yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
