office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
