I think i peed on brittanys purse
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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