he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize