What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
