I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
