I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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