I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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