I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
