i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dignity is for republicans.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
