I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
