He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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